Imposing Beauty

I've never been so nervous for a shoot before. I didn't want to let her down. What if I wasn't creative enough? What if the lighting was bad? What if we didn't connect? What if I couldn't convey to others what I see for myself every day?  What if I couldn't make them understand that, to me, Leigh Sterrett is so much more than muscular...she's strength. There is beauty in her dedication, her discipline, her stoic demeanor. If you take the time to see it, behind her quiet eyes...you'll know too.

Beauty is all around us. If you don't see it, you're not looking...not paying attention...not living with your eyes open. Beauty is a sunrise, ocean waves, a midday rainbow.  Beauty is a child's sly grin, the sparkle of an eye, a loving touch.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is skin deep. Sometimes beauty is captured...in a jar, in a vase, through a lens. Beauty is all consuming, overwhelming, awe inspiring.

Beauty is fragile; beauty is pure; beauty is strong.

I asked her to let her guard down, to let me in...not an easy task when you're hanging off of railroad tracks in a sports bra.  I snapped pictures while she stood, crunched, sat perfectly still, held poses, climbed a rope, walked along a brick wall and ran sprints.  She smiled, didn't smile, glanced, turned her head, laughed, looked down, looked up, looked away.  At the end of the shoot she had changed clothes five times, put her hair up, and down and then up again...she was covered in tar, covered in lipstick, covered in a fine layer of sweat and dust. 

She was still beautiful.  I know, because I was there.  I was looking.  I did see it.  I was paying attention.  I was lucky to capture it.

Reflections

This is Addison... 

She is me, or rather I was her...about 20 years ago. From start to finish this session was chock full of sarcasm, quick wit and endearing complications. All I could do was laugh, because I'm certain that if I asked my mom to describe what I was like at twelve years old, she would have told a story of a precocious young lady much like the one I was photographing. "I can't get dressed yet - - my clothes are still wet! I have to go to the bathroom...I didn't have to go when we were at the house! There are bugs here...oh my gosh is that a snake!? I don't want to go there...why do we have to go there!?"  Secretly she was enjoying being the star, and it shows.  From sly grins to eye rolls, her personality shines through in every shot. 

There's a good chance that she will look back one day and remember being a child who was so eager to be a "grown up."  She may remember feeling defiant, pushing the boundaries, knowing it all...being stuck in that age where you're neither a child or an adult.  I remember that time.  Spending the afternoon with Addison brought those memories back to me like a flood.  I sat back behind the camera watching her, and seeing myself.  I felt like I should call my mom and thank her, share a laugh, apologize?  Instead I looked over at Addison's mom Mandy, and promised her that there was hope for her sweet, smart, clever, overwhelming pre-teen.  After all, look how well I turned out. ;)